Ep 102: Visibility Without Alignment — Dr Rita Renee on Unmuting Your Voice & Leading With Conviction

Welcome back to Morning Cup of Brand Spark, the podcast where we slow things down and we explore the moments that change how we see ourselves. These aren't conversations about success, visibility or getting it right. They're about the mirror moments, the reckonings, the collapses, and the quiet decisions that shape who we become next. Today's conversation is about visibility without alignment and the moment when performing for approval stops working.

You'll hear from Dr. Rita Renne, a TEDx speaker, author, and leadership coach on what it takes to reclaim your voice, to lead with conviction, and to show up in truth rather than performance. So let's get started.

Why hello there. Thank you so much for joining me today on Morning Cup of Brand Spark. I should say, it's not morning for me, it's 4 p.m., but it is morning for you, right? Where are you joining from?

Hi, this is Rita Gibson and I am joining from North Carolina.

What is the weather like there today? I haven't been back to North Carolina for so many years. Yeah

No

zero digits right now.

And, and, because this is my normal ritual every time, what's in your cup this morning?

Well, usually in my cup is hot tea and that's in the physical, but right now in my imaginary cup right now is clarity and gratitude.

Oh, that's beautiful. I like your imaginary cup. And you know what? You've inspired me. Maybe I need to have one of those around me all the time. Also, well, let's just jump right this podcast, we're always talking about sort of mirror moments, right? What happened where you saw yourself clearly?

How did your visibility or identity change over the years? And I know you talk about visibility a lot. So when was sort of the first time that you had that first sense that something, maybe it wasn't aligned with your visibility?

Right. I can remember a time when I was in a group, I wanted to be a part of a group and I wanted my, I guess my opinions, my contributions to be more visible in the group. However, when I looked at the values of the group, they did not align and a lot of people have a hard time time articulating that and verbalizing that because they want to be a part of something.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

But visibility is often celebrated as success, but without alignment, it becomes a distraction. So I didn't want that to be a distraction for me with my values and who I was.

And was this a personal group that you were involved in, like a friend group, or was this a business context? my goodness, okay. And then what did going through that experience cost for you?

It was in the business context.

Well, silence isn't always like being quiet. Silence is like not saying anything or shrinking, right? So it cost me with my performance. It cost me being able to approve trained leaders that I thought that were capable of doing a job versus having the leaders that they wanted based on their friendships or connections. And I just learned to say what was safe during the time, but not what was necessary.

Yeah.

So that approval for me personally, it cost me my identity and it cost me my convictions. So I think the most dangerous silence is not saying anything at all. It's saying what keeps you accepted instead of what keeps you aligned.

And guess that moment taught you quite a lot. No, great. And who do you see yourself now? Like you've been through that, you've learned from the positives and the negatives around that experience, and who are you today?

It did, definitely. I'm never gonna be silent again.

I am purpose driven, I'm influenced not by being visible to others based on being connected or being accepted and or demanding any type of attention, but I'm connected and being visible because I demand respect and we all should be respected in our own lanes and our own capacities. And when I stopped doing that, I began to have a voice that was more impactful instead of more agreeable.

And it's okay to disagree, right? We can agree to disagree. And our presence should always be grounded, not grasping for straws and grasping for an identity that others may want us to have. We should be comfortable in our own perspective and who we are and who we are meant to be in our journeys. The moment I stopped trying to be impressive, I became impactful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You were yourself. And that's the thing, right? I mean, I talk about visibility a lot, but people can tell when you're not yourself. And when you are, you attract the right people that also reflect your values, right? And honestly, life's too short, right? And you've said before that visibility without alignment is noise. What does that mean to you?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

That means all you're being unfocused and you're being Unaligned and off rails from your personal journey. So many people want to be connected and Align themselves where they feel like they're going to get that visibility But it's taking you off a path off your own personal journey Which is detrimental to you because there are so many people that you can impact

Just by being aligned on your own journey alignment costs me access. It can cost you rooms. It can cost you comfort for being universally liked but it gave me peace when I started being aligned with my own purpose and journey and peace makes your voice steady and I lost applause but I gained authority.

I bet. And you said that previously you had silenced yourself in a way. Yeah, so what was that like when you unmuted your voice? How did that feel?

Yeah.

It's

much freedom When you can unmute your voice and be your authentic self Life is so easy to just be authentically you there's only one you nobody can replicate you duplicate you and The purpose that you bring the impact that you bring it's not just Temporary is transformable for a lifetime

Yeah.

Mm.

And so my journey in North Carolina has been to do just that, to impact as many people that I can to help them unmute, to come off the sidelines and out of the shadows and go on stages and be authentic self, tell your story without any apologies or without any shame.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

And that's the thing, right? We all have a story to tell and every one of us is so unique and we're worthy of telling those stories.

Absolutely. Don't stay muted. Unmute your voice today.

And what do you see, I know you work with a lot of leaders, right? What is it like? mean, what about the leaders that are, let's say they're visible, but they're not fully expressing that, or they're not comfortable stepping out and doing that. How do you help them? What do you say to them?

Yes, so I've addressed a variety of different leaders. I've had leaders that are, you look on the outside, they look very authoritative, right? They look very confident, but they have an inner child that they have locked away and trapped inside of their adult bodies because they haven't dealt with past traumas. And that's one of the things that I do, work with leaders who have not addressed the issues of their smaller selves and perform for the audience that is present with them.

because eventually it will come out. It'll come out in your response. It will come out in your delivery. It will come out even when you're seeing other people being celebrated and you're not being celebrated, you won't know how to celebrate because you're envious or you're jealous of their accomplishments. So we deal with that on that aspect. And then we deal with leaders that feel like I don't want to miss out on an opportunity. If I share what I actually feel and think, then I won't include it.

And I'm saying to them, create your own platform. You don't have to be on a particular platform. You can create your own platform. That's how I started in Raleigh, North Carolina. I didn't know anybody when we moved here from Colorado. I created my own bunch of learns. And that's how I created my own platform.

⁓ really?

Awesome. And is that something that you would advise leaders who are trying to step into this but not comfortable with other people's?

Yes, there is a group of people. say find your tribe, find your connection. There's other people, believe it or not, that think just like you. They have the core values just like you. Whatever those values are, align with them. And sometimes it's uncomfortable because you're leaving the familiar, right? You're leaving those people that you feel like, this is the in crowd. This is where I should be. But there's a whole mass of people that want to align.

Yeah.

Yeah.

with someone just like you.

And you found your people, didn't you? I bet you did.

Absolutely, and I'm so grateful.

And they're not yes people, right? You don't want people to always tell you what you want to hear. You want people to tell you what you need to know, right, so that you can grow. And you don't want to be the smartest person in the room either.

Yeah.

No, no. And you want people to accept who you are, right? Otherwise, there's always a judgment there.

Absolutely. And it's okay to improve because I'm not a perfect person. I need people to tell me, you know what, maybe rethink this, maybe take a different approach, maybe just not make a decision now and step back and let's look at that and reevaluate it later on. It's okay. You don't have to be impulsive

Yeah.

Yeah,

no, that's true. And what kind of advice do you give if someone is, let's say they want to speak loudly, right, or speak with conviction, and they're worried about how they come across?

Right. So you have to know your audience, correct? Right. The know that you're speaking with in your audience. And so there may be some times that you want to be vulnerable and share certain aspects of your journey of your life. You have to know if that is that the audience you need to share it with. Right. And you want to make sure also that what you're sharing, you're not hurting other people as well. So you want to make sure

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

that the story that you're sharing is not gonna hurt people, it's gonna actually help people.

That's the narrative. So really

being sure that that narrative that you're bringing forward is respectful and thought through for who's in front of you, right?

Yes, a thoughtful leader is a

leader that has clarity but also compassion.

Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up too, because that's very true. And a lot of people confuse that. They think you need to be strong, you need to be harsh, you need to be bold. And yes, there are absolutely some leaders who are bold, but that you do not have to be the other way, exactly.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, I've talked a lot about boss chicks and that that we're not in competition with each other. We're not in competition with men. I don't do men bashing It takes us as a community, as a whole, as a human race to work together to make, you know, impact in our in our community in the world as well.

Yeah, well tell me.

Yeah, I'm so glad you said that. So what kind of advice would you have if someone listening right now feels like they're super successful, right? They have a great career or they have their own business. We have a lot of people listening, our business owners, but they still somewhere somehow feel like they've got themselves muted. What is the first honest step you would invite them to take?

Hmm, I will say unmute. I mean Because what do you have to lose I always look at today as Tomorrow's never promised to me. What if I didn't I don't ever want to go through life and say I should have I had this opportunity True leadership doesn't begin when the mic turns on it begins when the masks come off

Just do it.

Hmm.

So go ahead and take that mask off and be your authentic self.

No regrets, that's awesome. That's what you just sparked me. No regrets, I'm like literally gonna paint that on the wall here. I wanna see it every day. Don't have any regrets, just go, right? Unmute and go. I think that's awesome. And give yourself permission to, right?

you

Yes.

Yes.

Well, I do an Unmute Friday, so it should be posted by now. And one of the things I thought, we don't need permission to be the leadership who we are. We don't need permission to be authentically ourselves.

Ha

And we also don't need everyone to like us either, right? Because it doesn't have to be that.

Really?

It's not going to happen. Yes, that's it. Absolutely.

No, no, no, no, and your tribe, that's who you need. That's who you need to care about, right?

Awesome. Well, if this conversation resonated with anyone listening, can you tell everyone a little bit about what you do and where they can connect with your work if this resonated with them?

Yes, I help women come out of the shadows, off the sidelines and onto stages that have been through trauma to tell their authentic stories without any apologies, all authorities and no shame, whether it's through a book or if it's on a stage telling their true story. And they can find me at drritarenee.com on all social media platforms at drritarenee.

Awesome. And do you work with people locally or do you work with people globally as well?

I work with

the people globally.

Super. Well, I really appreciate hearing your story and I bet you are a rock star up on stage. It's amazing.

Thank

you so much for the opportunity to talk to your audience. It's been a great conversation.

Thank you so much.

Well, that was Morning Cup of Brand Spark. Today's conversation was a reminder that visibility alone doesn't create impact, alignment does. If this episode stirred something deep inside for you, maybe it's a truth, a hesitation, or a quiet knowing, let it sit with you a little bit. Sometimes clarity comes from listening inward first. And if you know someone who's visible, but not fully voiced yet, share this episode with them. And until next time,

Keep your coffee warm and your mirror close.